
What happens after we die?
Let’s be honest. Death sucks. Anyway, that is what most of us think. Certainly, no one wants to lose someone they love. And no one wants to die. Yet, we will all lose someone and eventually we all die. This inescapable truth often makes me recall my mom’s own words when she was being treated for stage four cancer. Shortly after her diagnosis, with raw clarity and tears in her eyes, she told me, “I’m not afraid of dying. I just don’t want to.” At the time, I was 28 year


Sing, dance . . . remember
Larry White doesn't always remember his name, where he lives, the name of his hometown or his grandchildren's faces. He frequently stutters and stumbles in the middle of a sentence. His frustration is palpable and his tears real. But one Monday morning, the 89-year-old sang, in perfect pitch, the opening lines to “Moon River” as he closely impersonated Andy Williams. Animated and happy, he sang out as though the family and visitors in his room were an audience at the Moon


Hey Violet! We've gotcha covered.
We have a neighbor I’ll call Violet. She is 94. When I saw her this morning she was sporting a florescent swirl of indigo, plum and crimson hair. At first, when I noticed a bounce of color on top of her head I thought it was a flowered hat. As she approached me to say good morning I realized that the spray of color was her actual hair and that she was, as usual, dressed to the nines with makeup and jewelry perfectly in place. Violet is a trendy dresser with a hip personali


Culture trumps everything
In matters of choosing team members and keeping good people engaged, the most valuable lesson I have gleaned from 25 years of management is that organizational culture trumps everything else. Within organizations that are intentional about shaping culture, someone’s skills and experience are important, but they are not everything. Culture is the invisible glue that not only holds an organization together, but allows it to thrive. It reflects norms like purpose, values, miss


It always seems too early, until it's too late
In a letter penned by Benjamin Franklin in 1779 to French physicist Jean-Baptiste Le Roy, the Founding Father wrote “Nothing is certain except death and taxes.” Those famous words are the reason why National Healthcare Decisions Day strategically falls during the same week that tax returns are due. It is a time when Americans are encouraged to reflect on the healthcare choices they prefer should they be faced with a serious illness. According to Jeffrey Yee, MD, internal me


If this dog could talk, here's what he'd say
Anyone who has ever loved a dog knows that they can be much more than a furry merrymaker. A dog can be a true source of comfort. People who have been on the receiving end of a dog’s unconditional love or felt the warmth of a dog’s body nestled tightly by their side during a time of stress or illness, understand that some dogs are actually therapists. These therapy dogs will not ask you to sit on a couch and talk about your childhood. Instead, they know how to simply be pres


Kids walk through grief with Stepping Stones
On a cold and gloomy winter day, David Deerfeeder, bereavement services manager at Yolo Hospice (YH), received a startling and tragic phone call from a local elementary school. A 12-year-old sixth-grader (we’ll call him Sammy) had unexpectedly died the day before. The boy’s classmates, as well as his ninth-grade sister, were in shock. Their friend and brother, who was described as a jokester, athlete and a warm sensitive soul, had suddenly vanished without explanation. The


Ted talks . . . about listening
In describing what it means to be in the moment with a hospice patient, Ted Skiera, RN, recalls a story of a former patient named Mary. She was a spirited 103-year-old woman who was born in an era when 99 percent of all doctors had no college education, and before women had the right to vote. “Mary liked to talk about the first time she voted for President of the United States,” Ted says. She frequently and proudly told him that she cast her first-ever ballot for Franklin D


Dignity and care for the poorest among us
Something unexpected, and quite unthinkable, happened to Marlene von Friederichs-Fitzwater, in 2014. The founder of the Health Communication Research Institute and former professor/director at the UC-Davis Cancer Center, was notified that her 34-year-old grandson had died homeless while living on the streets of Omaha, Nebraska. His death came five months before his twin sons were born. With the pain and shock of loss still fresh, and with tears in her eyes, Marlene says, “M


Palliative Care: Old fashioned medicine
“Palliative care is really old fashioned medicine. It’s the way Marcus Welby, M.D. practiced medicine on television in the 60s and 70s,” according to Dr. Annie Hargadon, Yolo Hospice’s new palliative care medical director. Annie recently joined the organization’s 80-member team to expand its palliative care program, YoloCare, and to deepen its knowledge and expertise in the field of palliative medicine. “If you’re old enough to remember,” she says, “you’ll recall that Dr. W